RIP Customer Service

Originally posted on the Los Angeles Rants & Raves section of Craig's List on Dec. 24, 2006.

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I walked into a local outlet of a national retail chain... no names but is has a big red Target as its logo.

I spied what I was looking for - a nice 35 gallon storage bin with lid. I needed four, but there was only 1 lid. I called a store clerk to look in the back, but he came back empty handed. No lids.

I headed out and went to another outlet about 15 mins away. They had 4 lids...but no totes. A clerk's search in the back came back with zilch.

Ever the optimist, I strolled over to "Guest Services." A young girl gave a half hearted smile and waved me over.

"I have one for the training manuals," I said. "You guys have 4 lids, but no totes. The other store has 4 totes, but not enough lids. Can I pay for them here and pick them up there?"

She shook her head no. Evidently, the caloric expenditure required to speak was too high for so early in the day. "OK, how about if I pay for the totes at the store with the totes and take the lids from here?"

"No, you can't do that," she said.

"Why not? What are you guys going to do with 4 lids?"

She stared at me blankly; for a moment I began to think I had suddenly mastered an ancient language that was unknown in this day and age - was I speaking Aramaic or something?

"If you guys order 4 totes, you're going to get 4 lids, right?" I continued. She nodded. OK, at least I was still speaking English.

"So, you'll always have 4 extra lids, right? Doesn't it make sense to work with the other store and make a sale?"

"Well, you can pay for the totes at the store with the totes and then show them your receipt and get the lids later. But it has to be at the same store. We don't work with other stores."

"You're not one big happy family?" I asked. She shook her head no. I guess she used up all her reserves and was back to head shaking as a form of communication.

I worked retail about 20 years ago and I know how I would have handled this. What the hell good are 4 totes gonna be without lids? But evidently such customer service had its funeral and I missed it. How sad...I would have liked to have sent some flowers...or at least a nice card in aramaic or something.

It's pretty sad how, in this day and age, with the internet and computer systems as advanced as they are, that two stores of the same outlet can't work together and close a deal.

Well, that's my rant. My weekend project of cleaning out and putting crap into storage is shot...guess I'll head off to the local pool hall and see what I can do about putting my liver through its paces.

Merry g0dd^mn Chr!$tm^$



Ebeneezer Scrooge