Near the opening of his act, he comments on how you can no longer smoke in bars in California.
"Soon," he says, "there will be no drinking and no talking. Be careful, California...you're supposed to be the 'wild and crazy' state."
I now segue to a news article I saw this morning; according to this article, late last year, Albert Argibay, a Wappinger Falls, N.Y., bodybuilder and state correction officer, was escorted by police out of the Planet Fitness gym he was a member of, after another member complained to management of his loud grunting during weightlifting.
Planet Fitness, a national chain, has a solid "no-grunting" policy in place and Argibay's noisemaking -- along with a resulting verbal tussle with management -- cost him his membership, The New York Times reported.
I have ask to anyone out there..ARE YOU F*^%!#6 KIDDING ME???
What's next? no sweating??
Come on, people. This is really getting out of hand. In this day and age, everybody and their grandmother's pet poodle has some sort of portable music device; plug in some ear plugs and rock out to elevator music if that's your preference, but for pete's sake, to complain because somebody is grunting while they work out is just unbelievable. Has everyone out there completely lost their mind????
First Southwest Airlines with their "dress code", and now this Planet Fitness with their "no grunt policy." I am so stunned at the mentality of people today that I've decided to go ahead and start a list of all the other policies we should start enacting:
1. From now on, you are no longer allowed to read in the library; after all, we don't want you to damage your eyes and sue.
2. If you are sick, please stay away from the doctor's office and the hospital; we don't want you to infect anyone else with your pathogens.
3. When your car breaks down, please have it towed to your home; we don't want to see a large collection of vehicles parked in front of the auto repair shop because it looks unsightly.
4. No chewing or swallowing in restaurants, it's just too gross. You may drink only if you bring your own cup and libations and make sure to use both hands when holding your cup.
5. Please refrain from bringing cash, checks, or credit cards to the mall; such items tempt thieves and pickpockets. In fact, don't go anywhere with any sort of cash, credit card or check book; it's just too dangerous out there.
6. When at the playground, please make sure your children do not run, jump, yell, shout, throw anything, attempt to catch anything, skip, tumble, or play. Heaven forbid they might fall and scrape their knee; not only that, they'll get sweaty and you'll have to bathe them, and they might drown.
7. Speaking of which, no swimming in the pool; water is too precious a resource to waste with your flailing around, splashing, and diving.
8. Please do not stand while using the escalator. Turn around and sit on the escalator steps to avoid falling or tripping-- trust us, it's really much safer this way.
9. Effective immediately, all museums, art galleries and other exhibits must refuse entry to the public. There are priceless pieces of art and other historical artifacts inside and we don't want anything to happen to them. We will soon collect them all in one place and bury them for safe keeping.
10. Lastly, please do not attempt to transact financial dealings at your local bank. We don't want to see you, we just want your money. If you need to withdraw funds, call us and we'll think about letting you have some, depending on the reason you provide. Otherwise, we'll just hold onto it for you--you'll thank us later.
Shall I go on?
I think the snotty maitre'd in Ferris Bueller's Day Off was dead on when he snidely remarked
"I weep for the future."
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