Saturday, July 18, 2009

A sad sort of passing

Yesterday my 7 year old son went off with his friends to a water park in celebration of his friend's birthday. Eager to take advantage of a free evening, the Mrs. and I went out immediately upon her arrival home from work. I had planned to take her to the restaurant where I had officially proposed to her back in the very early 90's.

Sadly, upon our arrival, the restaurant was boarded up; the ever ominous "For Lease" sign posted on the chain that was barricading the driveway.

It was a sad sort of moment. A little piece of our history was no more.

Yes, I still have a photo of that night; the memories are still pretty strong, considering it's been nearly 20 years since that night, but I found myself sadly nostalgic for a brief moment.

I'm sure there are many others who have experienced this sort of thing, but for us sentimental romantics, it's a bit more painful. I guess we'll just have to go out and create some new memories...

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Lessons from a 7 year old...

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to work on a "sizzle reel" for a friend of mine who is one of the producers of the show. Flattered that he'd ask, and a bit nervous (after all, I'm dealing with a friend's livelihood here) I accepted the job and found a fellow actress I knew to play my wife. We rehearsed and shot and had a great time doing it, and I believe our work was nothing short of excellent. It was one of those "This is why we came out here in the first place" sort of days and I relished every moment of it.

A day or two later I was explaining to my 7 year old son the whole concept behind a "sizzle reel"; in a nutshell, it's a very short demo or teaser for a new show-- the agency (in this case, William Morris) watches it, and if they're excited by what they see, they start pitching it to the networks. I explained that it was a good project for me because, for the first time, my work was going to be seen by agents at WMA--a real powerhouse agency.

"Of course, " I said, "they're not going to stop the reel and say 'Who's the guy playing the husband? We gotta get a hold of that guy...he rocks!'"

My son looked at me quizzically and asked "Why not?"

And I had a moment of realization that still makes me grin.

WHY NOT INDEED????

Why DO we limit ourselves and our dreams??

Press onwards!
Never surrender!

LIVE IT!!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Deliberate Creation & Laws of Attraction

Let me open this post by saying that it's no secret I'm not thrilled with everything in my life.

Yes, I have a beautiful son and a loving wife.

We have a roof over our heads and food on our table.

In theory, I should be very very happy.

But I'm not.

I moved to LA in 1990 full of ambition, ready to conquer Hollywood and be the star I felt I was destined to be.

19 long and painful years later, I'm nowhere near my goal.

So, I'm the first to admit that, at times, I'm bitter, cynical, angry, frustrated, pessimistic, disillusioned, and just plain tired of it all.

Two nights ago, a good friend of mine, who, interestingly enough, is also going thru a rough patch, asked me to join him at a bar where he's considering shooting the opening scene of a Star Wars fan film. Always happy to join my good friend in a libation or ten, I accepted, and we found ourselves sitting in a near perfect set for the scene he has written.

As we marveled at how perfect the location was, we slowly migrated our conversation to the topic of deliberate creation and the laws of attraction. For those familiar with the Abram-Hicks CD set which is similarly named, you'll have to forgive the Reader's Digest condensed version of this explanation.

In short, the laws of creation say that whatever you go about feeling, you'll attract more of. If you're feeling bad, negative, and downtrodden, you'll attract that sort of energy; if you're feeling happy, joyful, loving, and upbeat, you'll attract that.

I've never been a big believer; like I said, I'm a modern day Mr. Spock-- primarily driven by logic, and devoid of emotion. However, my friend lent me a book and implored me to read it. When I got home that night, I devoured the first 4 chapters like a starving man who had been rescued from a desert island would attack a steak.

The next day, I took a deep breath and really began to apply what I had read. I thought about this project that I'm developing and began to really get excited about it. I thought about a cover letter for my agency submissions and how creative yet simple it was. I began to just be joyful about what a great life I have.. with a woman who supports my dream completely and wants nothing more than success and happiness for me. I started feeling really good for the first time in a long time.

Late that afternoon, I got a "Linked In" message from the very girl who I had in mind for the chief makeup position on my project. I was stunned...we hadn't chatted in months. I immediately called her and we planned to have lunch the next day to talk. Coincidence? Or deliberate creation?

We met at lunch and had a great time catching up and talking about the project. In a weird "coincidence", she brought the paperwork to my first project that she was involved with...many many years ago... a sort of deja vu all over again. As we were heading out, I noticed a table full of people sharing lunch, and at the far head of the table, a young 15 or 16 year old girl was wearing a t shirt with the superman logo. I just happened to be wearing a shirt with superman logo. I walked by, smiling to myself, and then, in a very uncharacteristic moment, I went back and stood at their table until I had everyone's attention, and then I pointed to the girl and smiled and said enthusiastically "I like your shirt!" She saw my shirt and laughed, as did the others. It was a quick 5 second shared laugh, but it felt really good.

I left lunch and went to Sam French's to buy the Agency Guide and begin my hunt for new representation, and as I was leaving, a young woman walking past me on the sidewalk smiled and said "I like your shirt!"

No kidding.

Like attracts like.

I sat in my car and laughed for 5 minutes... amazed at how good this was feeling.

Now I'm stumbling on past college associates left and right; associates who, at one point in my life, shared the dream of working in the arts. Today is the third day of waking up with optimistic thoughts and excitement to hit the day... I know it might sound a bit "hokey", but I think I just had a sort of "re birth." I feel like Spock who suddenly realized he is half human and the human side if finally coming out to play...

Who else wants to come out and play?