The Passing of the Torch

Last week was a bittersweet milestone for me, or rather, for me and my 6 year old son.

He had secured himself a role in his school's production of "Oliver!" Over the course of the rehearsals his role had been increased to the point where, considering his age, it was a pretty significant sized part.

The night of his performance came, and we watched with eager anticipation as my son came out and put his acting chops to the test. After the first scene there was little doubt that he has inherited his father's flair for the stage. At one point, a fellow actress delivered her line and received a sizeable laugh from the audience which overwhelmed my son's delivery of his punchline. Without missing a beat, he waited for the laughs to subside, and then repeated his line, resulting in another round of laughter from the audience. I asked the director if she had taught him about holding for the laugh, and she said that they had discussed it once, and just briefly.

"He's a natural," the director said enthusiastically. "He's really good."

After the show, the praise from the audience continued; my son was pretty overwhelmed by the outpouring of congratulations and compliments. I remembered my senior high school production of "A Christmas Carol" where I received similar accolades, and I realized with a twinge of sadness that the spotlight was slowly shifting focus from me to my young son.

We celebrated by going to our local Chili's, which is one of his favorites. Over dinner, we engaged in another favorite pastime, chess. I taught it to him at an early age and he's gotten quite good, having already entered a tournament and nearly placing. I myself was the school champ in 5th and 6th grade - the 1st to ever win both years, so I'm hardly a slouch in the game.

That night, however, his play was awesome, and after a blunder on my part he had me. I was forced to resign.

The torch had truly passed.

Despite a slight twinge of sadness, I am excited. He has so much ahead of him, and enormous gifts to bring to bear to all the challenges that lay ahead. In a way, I'm envious of all he has, and in another, I'm proud to think that I had something to do with his accomplishments thus far and yet to come. I can only hope as the torch passes that I am granted the opportunity to watch him carry it boldly forward and illuminate the paths that I have failed to tread myself.

The Acceptable Double Standard

There is an advertisement running on network television right now that caught my attention last night. In the ad, a young, hunky model is escorted through a retail department store where he is introduced to Martha Stewart, who remarks that she's really looking forward to working with him and as he turns to continue onward she makes no effort to conceal her checking out his ass.

Maria Carey is also in the store, and she oohs and aahs over him as he walks by. Many of the other female shoppers / employees in the store are similarly affected; at one point a crowd of women are standing nearby practically dripping with desire and when our young hunk notices they all scatter and pretend to be busy. Eventually, when this choice piece of eye candy finally arrives at his destination, a rather glum looking Donald Trump is seen standing off to the side, and he comments how they're all so shallow.

Of course, right now, for the life of me, I can't recall the store that is being advertised, and based on that, it's not an effective ad. (My sister used to work in advertising, and this is one test of an effective ad that I remember her mentioning...) BUT the point I'm making here is the interesting double standard that is virtually unmentioned yet seemingly accepted.

If the roles were reversed, and this was a sexy young lady and a bunch of men were ogling her tits and ass, and an older guy sneered at her "I'm really looking forward to working with you!" I am positive there would be such an outcry of protest from women's groups across the country that the ad would be pulled. Yet, there is nary a peep about the same sexual harassment if it's applied to a guy. Why is that?

I'm sure some critics out there will wave me off as jealous; certainly I wouldn't take issue if I were similarly desired by the same type of women depicted in the ad (they are, of course, all gorgeous.) But I don't think so--this is really more of an issue with a lack of consistency in standards, which is a big deal to me.

So guys aren't allowed to ogle women, but woman are allowed to gape and stare and men.
If a guy stares at a woman, or makes a suggestive remark, or some other visual or audible indication of arousal, it's harassment...but if a woman does it it's fine.

That's bullshit.

Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of people making all these rules that apply to everyone but themselves. If you're going to cry foul when someone kicks you in the nuts, then it isn't ok for you to run around kicking every else's groin. Honestly, is this concept so foreign that everyone has forgotten the saying "What's good for the goose is good for the gander."?

I'm sure there are women out there who are pointing fingers and saying "See what it feels like to be a considered a sex object??" It has nothing to do with that (in fact, quite honestly, I would be lucky if even one woman took notice of me as I walked by); it has to do with a double standard that, in my opinion, is lending itself to a mentality that condones capricious dictates that lack equality for all.

All right, that's off my chest. I'm going to go look for my steel toed boots...